Days 22 - 30

22-30. Recently, one of my old high school friends has been diagnosed with a brain tumor.  They are not sure how good/bad it is, what her future will be and all that.  They have scheduled surgery in the next few weeks.  She has young children, and her youngest has heart health problems, and has had a very complicated medical life in four short years.  She has older children, ready to embark upon their middle school and high school years.  She has a husband who loves her.  She has brothers and sisters who love her.  She has so much to miss if the tumor changes who she is or becomes terminal.

When I think about things I'm grateful for, my list just kinda halts when I think about my friend.  It reminds me of Lindsay, and when she was in the NICU for so many weeks.  AND just how precious this gift of life is.  What a great gift, what great experiences for learning, growth, enjoyment.  Things to see, hear, do smell, taste, touch.  People to love, hate, treasure, miss, long for.  Knowledge to gain and to lose.  It's amazing.  I'm just grateful to have this gift of life and health.  To have my husband and my children.  And even to have the gift of Taylor, though she is not here now.  She helps me appreciate, to reflect, and to still live a life full of wonder.  For that, I am grateful.

Days 17 - 21

17. I'm so relieved my kids like vegetables.  You don't even know!  Last night I made baked fish, steamed carrots and broccoli and oven roasted potatoes.  My kids ate it all up.  I was amazed and so happy we didn't have a dinner fight over food.  Lindsay of course kept saying, "I don't like fish." This right as she shoved it into her mouth.  That girl!

18. I'm so happy to have friends who have the energy to do stuff!  This is because I don't!  At least I don't have energy to put it all together, so it's nice to have friends who have the energy to organize an event and I just get to bring a dish and show up!  :)  Super yay!

19. Texas winters rock!  I hate snow, shoveling snow, scraping snow off windshields, warming up the car, etc.  Here in Texas, I don't worry about any of those things.  I usually don't even worry about having a coat or a jacket, and I have to remind myself that the girls cannot wear flip flops to church in February.  I just love the warm weather!

20. I love colored string lights.  This year we are stringing lights around our house for all the holidays.  Christmas, New Years, Halloween, Thanksgiving.  It just makes the house feel festive and different and peaceful.  I love them!

21. I appreciate the gift of sight.  I've had dreams since I was a kid that one day I would go blind.  That hasn't happened yet, but I do have terrible eye sight.  I'm not even eligible for corrective laser surgery!  My last visit my doctor told me I have focusing issues of a 40-something.  :/  So, in case that dream comes true (not in a good way!) I'm going to appreciate seeing my cute kids, sunrises, blue skies, my love's eyes, and all those other glorious things we see every day and don't even realize are so lovely.

Days 13-16

13. I'm so super grateful for our shop manager, Jessica.  In the almost 3 years (3 weeks short of 3 years) our salon has been open, we've had 6 managers I think.  Or 6 managers I can immediately think of.  Some were okay, some were bad, and one was great.  Jessica is a great manager.  She gets the point of having a business is to service customers and to make sure they are happy.  She understands you want your employees to be happy, but you don't want them to take advantage of you, she just gets it.  I'm so happy to have her running our salon!

14. I'm grateful for a dependable co-owner who lives near our salon, and is willing to go in and help wherever needed.  I can't even tell you the number of times I call him for random items.  He's awesome!

15. I in LOVE with the commandment to cleave unto your wife and leave your parents.  I could go into this, but I'm being grateful and positive today.

16. I appreciate diapers, but I over-the-moon that Lindsay is potty trained.  No more poop smeared all over her bedroom, no more diapers to change, no more dirty clothes that you just throw away.  No pee on anything.  (Accidents are few thank goodness!)  Hooray!

Days 9 - 12

9. I'm grateful to not be crazy.  Seriously, that's a loose word to mean any sort of mental incapacity.  I know several people who are pathological liars, self absorbed, multiple personalities, etc.  It's so nice to be in a correct state of mind and to know my mind and to know reality for what it is.  Of course it makes me crazy dealing with those who have no grasp on reality.

10. I'm grateful for automobiles.  While I'm totally in love with horses, I'm happy to be able to get from point A to point B quickly and safely.  I don't have to worry about the time it takes me to get somewhere in terms of months or years as compared to hours or days (limited that to the US of course).

11. I'm grateful to be a world of variety.  Can you imagine growing up and knowing nothing about the other cuisines of the world?  No Italian food, or Mexican food or delicious mango smoothies?  No other traditions or beliefs to consider?  I think it's amazing people are so similar yet so different.  Hoorah!

12. I love the computer age.  The ability to hit backspace and not have to begin anew with a clean white sheet of paper.  Cause I took typing folks, and nothing stinks worse than typing an entire page or letter and realizing you made a typo in it, and having to start all over.  Yay for delete!

Time

I'm grateful to have time.  It heals wounds, it dulls pain, it lets you make memories, and allows others around you to grow up or become more mature.  I'm happy to have each and every day here, as they are all precious and none, absolutely none are guaranteed.  I appreciated my memories of my times, both good and bad, as they help me retain lessons learned and cherish moments lost.

Day 7

Today I'm extra grateful for my little Laney.  She has been working so hard and getting settled into her new medication, her new classes, her new teachers.  All this and roommates leaving suddenly, in-laws staying over for the night and turning into a 30+ day stay, and just normal bumps of life.  Well, last night she got her first report card and she had all B's and one A.  Not not be a good grade for many of you with children, but for my little girl, who has STRUGGLED with school and her focusing, it was A-mazing! We haven't started a year off this great since kinder!  Yay for Laney!!!

Lots to Remember

This morning while I was driving in to the office, I was thinking about what I wanted to list for my gratitude challenge.  There were so many things that came to my mind.  So many wonderful things I have in my life that I need to remember and recognize.  So, here are a few things:

3. I am super duper happy to have indoor plumbing.  You may think it's a little dramatic, but rest assured, I remember using an outhouse when I was young and visited my grandmother.  Complete with the Sears catalog.  Which reminds me, toilet paper = happiness.  You don't think so?  Try using Sears a time or two and finding out.

4. Alarm clocks.  Yes, I have a love/hate relationship with mine, but I'm glad it's faithful to me every day and tells me when I need to be up so I don't have to rush around being late.  Of course, it also reminds me how much I love the Snooze button.

5. Forgiveness.  I so appreciate forgiveness.  Those friends and family who I have wronged, sometimes without even realizing it.  Thank you for looking past my shortfalls and remembering good intentions do count.  Even when I am an idiot and my actions do not always reflect those good intentions.

6. Athletics.  I am so grateful to have the ability to challenge my body with sports.  I enjoy sports - team sports and solo sports.  I am grateful to be able to keep my body strong (notice I did not say "in shape" - not there yet) and healthy, to have a way to reduce stress, and to know that I can outrun at least the slowest person near me in case of the zombie apocalypse.

Gratitude

I know a lot of people do the November Gratitude challenge.  I actually received the challenge from sister missionaries that lived in my parents' house while I was away at college.  It was during the summer so I don't always remember to repeat the challenge except at Thanksgiving time.  Hopefully, this year, I can make something to post up at home to help my family remember the things we have to be grateful for.  As for me, with today being November 2nd, I have the following things to add to my list for the month:

1. I am grateful to have a daughter with a large heart.  She is a great big sister.  Even when Lindsay makes Laney so mad she could spit, Laney will still be there to help, to comfort, to cheer.  She is selfless and I'm so grateful for that.

2. I am overly grateful for my husband.  I know I mentioned this last year, but every year it just gets better.  We still look at each other and say, can you believe we knew each other less than a year before we were married?!  He is a great match for me and even when he drives me crazy, I can't live without him.  He's funny, kind, loving, and easy to please.  Who doesn't love that kind of man?!

Halloween

I didn't take pictures on Halloween (I know, right?), but I did take pictures on our FREEZING trunk or treat trip last week.  I don't have those with me now (again, yes, I know, bad mom!), but I do have a picture of the girls on Halloween that my friend Beth took.  So here they are in all their glory (that you can see from behind).

Laney is a go go dancer (not sure why the shawl) and Lindsay is a Fairy Barbie.  This was
the first house of the night.

Laney walked Lindsay to almost every single door.  And held her hand to keep her brave.  A couple of houses missed Lindsay because she was one of the smallest in the group and Laney gave up her candy to Lindsay because she didn't want her missed.  She is a great big sister.  She did ask if I would go with Lindsay to a few houses so she didn't have to go with Lindsay and said, "I don't want to be a bad big sister, but can you go with her mom?" I think she just wanted a break. ha ha!  I also love the face on the little boy (our friend Noah) running away from the door with his candy.  He is obviously SUPER excited to be out trick or treating.  And the arrow points to our friend Jak who is 6, but had never been trick or treating before because it had scared him.  This was his first trip ever.  Obviously, this picture comes from his mom.

Family Pictures!

Wes gots us some family pictures taken.  So far the photographer has released the following (the rest are soon to come!)  Enjoy!!

Lindsay Sayings

More things from the mouth of the babe:

1. Almost every single night when I put Lindsay to bed, I say, "Good night, love you!" and she says, "And in the morning when I wake up, I going to Monkey Bizness!" I think she has been 3 times in the past year, but her optimism has not failed once in the past 3 months!

2. While driving in the car to a friend's house, I hear:
  Lindsay: Mommy, there are monsters following us!
Me: Oh yeah?
Lindsay: Yes! Let's go in the trees. We hide from them there!
Me: Uh, okay...

Me: Why is Lindsay hiding from monsters?
Arlin: Well, she did watch Scooby Doo this week...

3. A certain 3 year is the expected thief of my phone. She says, "I washed it in the dirt really good. You NEVER find it." Yep, spent a week phoneless, and had to buy a new one.  We never did find a trace of the old one!  She stuck to her story for the entire week too.

4. I was cleaning ketchup off Lindsay's face and I told her, "Bring that pretty face over here." As I was wiping she goes, "Mommy, don't wipe my pretty off!" 

 

Free at Last

So last week our latest batch of roomies moved out.  It was a very dramatic, unexpected ending, and suffice it to say I'm pretty sure the friendship is over for good.  And I'm not even broken hearted about it.  It feels like HEAVEN to have our home back, with no other families living there with us.  Even the girls have told us how they love having their own rooms back.  No more playing keep away and fighting the bed time fight.  Now I can put them to bed in their own beds, without an audience, and shut the door and let them relax and find their peace and not have to worry about each other.

Of course, it also means less dishes, less house cleaning, not waiting to use the washer/dryer, no children fighting no children fighting with other children I cannot punish, and just no melding of different rules, lives, and social backgrounds.  It's like I've gained 2 hours in my day!  I can hear quiet harmony, feel the spirit, and remember what it is like just to buy things for myself and my family without having to worry about covering the bills of 4 other people.

Ah....  :)

AND in case you were wondering, NO NO NO, there will not be other roommates again.  Just ask our friends or our Bishop.  They have all offered to be the person to say NO WAY! to the next individual that even looks at the office/spare room.  So much less stress on my shoulders as the primary worker!

Running on Empty

Well, it's been about 9 weeks or so, and I'm still running/walking about 2-3 miles 5-6 days a week.  Yay me!!!  In honor of my sacrifices for waking up at 5 am every day to get it in before I leave for work at 6:30, I'm giving you:

Jackson Browne 1977

Gotta love us oldies but goodies.  :)

Laney's Results

A couple of days ago Laney and I went to her third psychologist appointment about her school issues.  Click here if you don't know/can't remember what those are.  After multiple appointments, questionnaires completed by teachers, counselors and myself, visits to the psychologist, tutoring, small group teaching, testing special assistance, and on and on, we've determined Laney has ADHD - Impulsivity Disorder.  There is a great explanation of it here and it almost perfectly describes my Laney.  My sweet eager to please Laney.  I'm so happy to have an answer.  Now that we know the problem, we can develop coping skills, we can stop expecting the almost impossible for her, and we can work with her teachers to determine the best methods for her learning.  We've been told memorization is crazy hard for her (both by the psychologist and by my adult co-worker who also has this disorder).  We are looking into medication to see if that will help, so she can regain her confidence and enjoyment of learning.  Fingers crossed, prayers sent heavenward, and ready to start fourth grade!

I Did It!

So I feel committed!  I submitted my application for grad school and ordered my transcripts to be sent in.  Now all I need is to gather a letter of recommendation and meet with a counselor to organize my classes.  I don't remember if I was this excited the first time I went to grad school, but I am this time!  I'm happy to finally be making progress on finishing this goal and to begin a new stage of life.  Here I come 30 credits!  Watch out!

Oh, Yes I Am

I am going back to grad school.  There, I said it out loud.  That makes it true right?  I've not picked a time, but I've found the school and the program.  I found a Masters in Education that will not require me to retake the GRE (thank you!) and is completely online minus the student teaching portion.  Once complete, I will have my masters and also a teaching certificate.  There are 10 classes and if I do 6 a year (2 fall, 2 winter, 2 summer) I should be done in a year and a half (minus student teaching again).  That would get me done at the beginning of a school year I think (or so).  It depends on the classes, I might be able to take more or less.  I know I'm already incredibly busy, but I do feel this is right and I'm almost feeling like this is now.  I was thinking about starting in January, but I might call the school and see if I can start at the end of the month.  Start praying for my sanity people... full time work, church calling, small business owner with 10 employees, and mom.  Oy vey!

Feeling the Blessings of the Lord

Lately, I've still been tired and busy and mostly overwhelmed, but more than anything I seem to feel so blessed.  Things are not perfect, no.  Some things are not even necessarily remotely close to where we want to be.  I can see clearly the difference from where we were and where we are.  And I can see myself on a path, and the path leading ahead.  It gives me such peace to know that I don't understand, nor do I want to endure, but I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  And maybe that's not such a bad place after all?

Did Your Life Ever Get Like This?

My life has it struggles.  It has good times, bad times, extra money for fun times, and just enough to cover the basic times.  I have moving times, living with others times, and staying pretty boring times.  But I have to say my life is pretty blessed.  Very blessed.  I know some people who are struggling with things like this:

No home to live in that is clean and safe for their children

They have considered doing something like this because they cannot find a job

This is a constant source of income for whatever they can find around the house they do not need

Really.  Right here in the US, where you would think we are grown and moved on.  There are still parts of our cities and towns that are not beautiful, and do not contain beautiful people or circumstances.  Sometimes we all need a little reminder of how much worse it can be.  I need to remember my power is not turned off, my water does not cause cancer, my children are not ill, my husband is faithful to me and our family, my house is not unsafe, my job is not on any kind of strip, I do not compromise my beliefs on a daily basis to be able to feed my family.  My country is not in a civil war, my house is not flooded or burned to the ground, or in a pile or rubble from an earthquake.  We are not starving, bleeding, or working in a factory in a third world country.  I could go on and on here.  I really could.  All in all, I'd say it's pretty much fabulous to be me.  Because I've experienced worse than now at times (nothing close to the above pictures), and I know plenty of people who have experienced horrors or are living in horrors currently (tragedies I cannot even fathom because I've never come that close).

I am humbled, and grateful the Lord is taking such good care of my family and even allowed me to have extras that bring me joy.  It's amazing isn't it?  How much we really have that we forget about and just take for granted?

An Idea

Last night I was sitting in my room and thinking about things.  And while I might appear to be doing better on the outside, on the inside, I'm still the same weak person.  I almost feel bi-polar (though I'm not) because I go through my normal feelings of "I can do this and here's the plan to make it happen" all the way to "Ugh, I'll never get myself up off this couch, or out of this pickle, or just have energy or enthusiasm to do anything."  The span of those emotions is approximately 2.6 seconds from one to the other.  Pitiful I know.

Anywho, I did have some thoughts last night, better yet, a whispering of the spirit perchance?  While I was thinking about it all, about how to get all I have to do done, and just trying to feel organized so I can even remember who needs what and when, an image of one of the 10 virgins can to my mind.  You know the parable in Matthew 25 right?  It goes like this,

1 Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.

2 And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.

3 They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:

4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.

5 While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.

6 And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.

7 Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.

8 And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.

9 But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.

Unfortunately, I think I'm one of the foolish virgins in this case.  I think this may be the case with moms in general sometimes.  I had plenty of oil in my lamp (time, energy, testimony, devotion, motivation, etc.) while I was standing in line waiting for Christ to come pre-wife, pre-kids, pre-homeowner, pre-business owner, pre-complicated life.  Then life happened, as it does, and I did not manage my oil wisely.  I shared it too frequently and with too many and gave away more than I should.  I kept nothing for myself and therefore, I ran out and have not enough for me or to share anymore.

It is time for me to go and purchase more oil.  To replenish my oil with good works, testimony, reading of scriptures, and things for me (goals, dreams, projects, activities that fill me).  I have learned the very hard way, by sacrificing myself for the good of all, that I have nothing for me.  And we all know that the only person who can save us is us (and Christ of course).  But it is through our actions, my actions, my reading, my prayer, my everything.  I can't live off others, nor can I stop what I need to do in order to given them my oil.  It gets me and them no where really.  They too need to fill their own oil.  I think that is why people term me an enabler.  I allow others to bring me down, and I can no longer.  Because when I do that, the only person down is me.

Wish me luck, it's going to be a lot of work, and a huge mindset change, but I think I can do it.  And by no means, and I going to neglect the things that still need to be done as a wife, mother, employee, business owner, but I can delegate, and I can simply allow others to do some things for themselves.  I know they can do it.  And if they mess it up for a bit, it will be okay, because they will have the opportunity to learn and grow and figure it out.  Just like I did.

Don't Hold Your Breath, and Don't Even Think About Jinxing This

I have been walking and working out at least 2/3 days a week for the past two weeks.  Even now I'm knocking on wood.  I hope I can keep it up when the girls get back in town from Virginia...

yay me.  :)

My Cantaloupe

I would call this my garden, but I'll leave the evidence for your own determination ...

If you search, you will be able to find broccoli, and three tomato plants (oh, and a couple of onions).  I can't decide if this is successful or not.  Arlin of course thinks so, since he loves cantaloupe and I do not.

Those are some BIG words you have

Last night Lindsay told me she wanted a bite of my sandwich.  It had avocado on it, and she pointed at the avocado.  I know she has tried avocado before and not liked it, so I was pretty surprised.  I asked her if she wanted a bite of the avocado and she said yes.  Then she looked right at me and said, "Bite mom mom.  It probably yummy.  Bite."

Immediately following her microscopic bite, she spite it out and said, "YUCK!"  I'm not surprised she spit it out, that was expected.  BUT I am surprised at her correct use of the supposition probably.  I can't believe this kid is 2.

Motivation

Motivation.  I need it.  I want it.  I don't have it, and can't seem to find it anywhere.  AND I mean anywhere.  I cannot seem to find the energy to do anything anymore.  I'd like to work out.  I would like to decorate the house.  I'd like to do one of a million little home projects.  I'd even like to spend time with my children in random pursuits of fun.  Yet, when I come home from work at night, this is my typical evening:

1. Arrive home about 7 pm.  Change from work clothes into pajamas.  Yep pajamas.  Let's not waste time putting on clothes I can show myself in, let's just get to the nitty gritty of going to bed.
2. I do the dishes left from the day
3. Make dinner
4. Feed children, do the dinner fight, pick food up off floor from Lindsay, eat cold dinner
5. Clean up dinner
6. Do dishes
7. Wash and dry a load of laundry (note, no energy to fold, just wash)
8. Perform some task for either YW or for the salon (such as advertising, rolls, etc.)
9. Water lawn and think about going for a walk with Laney.  Muster up energy for walk about once every third day
10. Watch tv rerun or dvr of a show I'm interested in for about an hour or two
11. Fall asleep in bed while speaking with Arlin and/or reading a book about 11 pm
12. Wake up at 5:45 to do it all again

I just can't seem to do more than this, and I am incredibly frustrated by this.  I've tried to explain this to Arlin, but I don't think he really gets it.  The old me would have just put energy into it and conquered the activities I wanted to do.  This me, this me is EXHAUSTED and DEPRESSED? and discouraged and just plain unable to do more than the essentials me can't change.  It makes me feel so empty inside and like life really isn't really anything more than work and death.  I mean where is the fun in this crap?!  It feels so few and far between.

I've tried counting my blessings, doing only laundry or chores on the weekends (read: spend all day Saturday doing more work), and making myself get moving a couple of times a week only to stop after small progress.  The will power is minute and the desire is great.  I know that this can be typical of a mom's life.  I wonder why I feel like I have nothing life in my tank when other people seems to have so much energy.  I used to be one of those people who could accomplish amazing amounts of things.  AND NOW, I'm just the kind of person I used to pity.  I used to say if you want it, you'll make it happen.  I just can't seem to make it happen ...

My Traits

Laney said to me yesterday, "Mom, I have know what traits I have of yours."
Me: "What traits, baby?"
Laney: "I have your blond hair, your eyes, your feet, your sweaty feet and your sweaty hands. Because my feet do sweat sometimes."
Me: "Ah."

So later during the day, I ask Laney to recount my traits to Arlin.  She goes through the same list, and I crack up and say, "Notice, she has my hair, my eyes and my sweaty feet." hahahah  AND then I hear, "And don't forget the sweaty hands.  I have your sweaty hands too."

I know only my family will understand this, but in a brief attempt to explain, I am physically unable to sweat.  My body literally does not sweat except on my palms and the bottoms of my feet.  As you can imagine, if it's hot, my feet and hands can be very sweaty.  It cracks me up this is the thing Laney notices the most about herself (along with eyes and hair) right as she is entering pre-teenhood.  And just for the record, she doesn't have sweaty hands or feet.  Trust me, this one I know.  She's too funny!

To You Annoying Lady

Dear Annoying Lady who just chewed my hiney for things I'm not even in the loop on:

I think you need to assert your aggression somewhere else because I don't like bullies.  In the meantime, I will turn up my music and pretend you do not exist.  Otherwise, I will most likely become a rudelette and regret it later.  Lucky you, I'm trying to keep my goal of improved self control this year.  I suggest you appreciate it and go away.

Sincerely,
Me

PS  I don't like you today, and probably not even tomorrow.  Come see me next week and I might have moved on...self control is a slow burning process.

On My Sister Turning 38

I have to admit that turning 30 was no big deal for me.  Turning 29 on the other hand was incredibly DEPRESSING.  Mostly because I knew that it was my last year, my last 365 days of being in my 20's, and it was awful to be part of a group, that had previously seemed so old.  Now, I think 30 is really pretty young, but that's because I'm closer to 40 than 30.  *Sigh*  I can't believe it either.  I know I'm a strange one, anticipating the awfulness a full year before it happens, but that's me. I like to prepare and be ahead of the game.  Good news is, my 30th was no big deal.  No tears, no fuss, no drama.  Yay me???

Now I'm starting way early on dreading my 40's.  Yesterday my older sister (who is barely older than me) turned 38.  In my mind this rounds on up to 40, and since I don't think she's that much older than me, I feel like I'm about to be 40.  EEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!!  I'm not ready!  I haven't started enjoying my 30's yet!  I'm still just surviving life and making it through the day, I can't believe it's almost here!  Give me more time!  Stop right there Father Time, just stop right there!

Of course I'm only about to be 36 this year, so I've still have lots of years ahead of me before 40.  BUT it feels like I'm about to fall off a cliff here and since we know how I like to prepare, I'm starting the game.  And yes, even I realize, I'm crazy psycho about this event 4 years from now.  It's hard on a woman you know?  Especially since her husband is only 31, and is still hasn't a clue what the 30's are still about...  **sigh, just sigh**

And on to 4th Grade

Whew!  We dodged another one, and got through an entire school year.  I just can't believe it's over!  I feel like I've gone through battle and I don't even know who/what I was fighting.  It's crazy to believe we made it because it's been such a tough year.  I'm starting to wonder if Laney is less ADD than I thought and more lazy?  As a parent, I just don't know.  Our final report card was straight C's.  And if you asked me three years ago, this would be totally unacceptable.  Punishment, lose of privileges, you name it.  My feelings on it now?  WHEW! There is a loving God and He helps us.

We started this year much like last year with not so good grades (read D's, C's and F's).  She did have one B and that was in reading.  Over the year we've done counseling, constant seat changing, tutoring before, during and after school, extra practice at home, testing on mental issues, etc., etc., etc.  And while our testing results are not in, all teacher feedback on her ability to focus is: she CAN'T.  I'm really starting to wonder just exactly where it is that Laney wants to be in life.  I think school is going to always be hard for her.  Math especially, word problems definitely.  And since we teach to pass a test here in TX, she is really not doing so hot there.  She gets notes sent home for talking and being silly, she either sends home an A or an F, she understands it today and totally forgets about it tomorrow.  Geez.  If she stumps me, two teachers, and a host of extra helpers, perhaps kids not excelling at school is not so cut and dried as I once thought?!

BUT here we are again, at the close of a year, and I'm super grateful for those C's.  I'm grateful Laney  maintained one C from the beginning of the year, and brought 3 D's up to C's, and lowered one B to a C.  And while I've spoken with her teacher and made a plan to practice math problems and multiplication tables all summer long, I'm excited for her future.  A little worried that one year she might be held back, but excited because I believe she is finally starting to see that her effort is what makes a grade.  And she is starting (starting I say, not perfect) to understand that if she studies and truly tries she does better than without the effort.  And I'm trying to teach her that if you really want to do well, you find a way to make it happen.  You study all the material until you know it inside and out.  And you do everything in your power to be successful.  I'm helping her compare this to repentance.  If you are truly sorry, you'll ask forgiveness and not do the sin/mistake/hurtful thing again.  If you say you're sorry, but repeat the event then you are not really sorry.  So she is learning just because she says she wants to do well, it doesn't mean anything until her actions equal her efforts.  And only then will she see the results she is looking for.  Like I said, I think she is starting to understand.  And I'll give her that.  I know adults and seniors who don't get that principle.

Easter - Yes in May!

No, Easter is not in May.  Yes, my Easter blog is in May.  I've been thinking about putting something up here for weeks, but work, the salon, and regular life is just getting in my way.  Oh to have time to myself!  Or just to work out!  :)

So this was Lindsay's first Easter that she really had any kind of clue what was going on at all.  We kinda begin the celebrations on Saturday morning with our church family with a potluck and Easter egg hunt.  You will notice the eggs are in a large empty field.  This works perfectly for the younger and older kids, but for completely separate and opposing reasons.  It's perfect for younger children because they can see the eggs, run to the eggs, and find the eggs with little to no effort.  It works just as perfectly for the older children, because they can put mass amounts of eggs in the baskets while thinking they are getting more eggs than anyone else!  Success on all parts!  [Pictures to be posted when I get home-la!]

Here's Laney in front of the large field of eggs

Laney knows all about how to get this done.  Lindsay is only moral support at this point

Lindsay was really funny about the entire egg hunt thing.  She of course did not egg hunt last year and didn't quite know what to do.  It literally only took one single egg for her to catch on though.  After we showed her the first egg on the ground had candy inside, she dropped the basket and ran around collecting armfuls of eggs and CANDY (as she says).  She would dump the armful of eggs in her basket held by mom, and run out to pick up another armful.  She would carry about 4-5 eggs in a swipe, so she clearly meant business in gaining eggs away from the competition.  Daddy was nice enough to take pictures while mom encouraged and just held the basket.  We really were not needed in the candy expedition, and mostly just got in the way.

Here's Lindsay scooping up handfuls of eggs at a time

Now she's showing off the CANDY inside the eggs

Candy break of course

We shove the entire piece of candy in - less chance for crumbs this way

I think she's enjoying it, don't you?

Pleased with herself I must say. This Easter business is not too shabby!

Laney liked the egg hunt, even though it was simplistic for her.  She collected her assigned number of eggs and reunited with us to return to our breakfast area.  Both girls began munching down their sweet treasures almost right away.  After about six pieces of candy, I stopped both girls and told them more would come after lunch.  As you can see from Lindsay's picture, the first is when Daddy tells her Mama said no more candy, and the second is when she comes to me to appeal for mercy.  She was heartbroken!

Here's Lindsay asking dad for more...

And here she is appealing to me, after daddy told her mama said NO

We spent the rest of Saturday at Arlin's aunt's house.  It's rather a family compound, as his cousins (3 of them, plus their parents) and their families live on the same street.  Laney and Lindsay loved spending time with all the little girl cousins (and one boy cousin).  We had a small egg hunt there too and petted the rabbits, fed the fish, played with the cousins.  We came home exhausted and went straight to bed in our clothes.  (As you can see from our first thing in the morning picture with our baskets).  The girls loved their baskets and I'm happy to say the Easter Bunny did not buy but a few pieces of candy for the baskets.  The girls loved their special cups, their jump ropes, kites, and toys.

Easter afternoon we ate ham and the standard holiday meal (sigh - so boring, something more exciting next year!).  And we (and by we, I mean Angela) put together a scavenger hunt for the 3 older children.  They loved reading the clues and finding little surprises for them in each location.  I have to say it was a huge success, so way to go Angela!  It was a happy day all around. I am positive Lindsay absolutely loves the idea of Easter because she knows there is candy in those little eggs.  We hid eggs around the house for about 2 weeks after the holiday.  Each and every time she would find an egg she would make a little "Aha!" noise and tell you how she found it.  So cute.  Every once in a while she will still scream out Happy Easter!, so I know she's a fan and will be ready for Easter next year just as soon as it comes.

Now if only mom can be ready in time, since this year we never seemed to find time to dye the eggs or put together our foam egg craft kit, tie the holiday back into the teachings of the Savior (we did a little with Laney), and making something really fabulous other than ham to eat...  Oh well, good intentions right?  :)

Here's a picture of me and Arlin just because we don't have the many pictures together

Quotable Quotes

I apologize to people who are also my friend on Facebook because these quotes are duplicates, but I want want to able to record them on my blog as well.  I'm dying to find some time to post about Easter and our latest life challenges, but time is my constant companion and my constant opposition.  Here are some great things the girls have been telling me lately:

1. Laney and I were discussing her visiting my parents for the summer on the way to church. She usually spends several weeks with them (most of the summer) as this is the only time she sees them during the year. I asked her when she wanted to come home if she went out in June. She told me December or January. I pointed out she would miss the beginning of school, and Lindsay's and Arlin's birthdays, and that we would miss her at Christmas. She looked at me and said, "Aww. That's sad. [pause] But I could write them a letter!"  -- She sure loves her summer time with Grandma and Grandpa!

2. Said by Lindsay while I was checking on her and found her in Laney's bed:
Lindsay: Drink!
Me: {ignore}
Lindsay: Drink Mommom!
Me: {ignore}
Lindsay: MOMMOM! DRINK!
Me: No, you can't have a drink. I don't want you to pee in the bed.
Lindsay: No pee in Lindsay's bed. Pee Laney's bed.

3. Laney: What flavor is the orange popsicle?
Angela: Orange
Laney: Well, then what flavor is the grape?
Angela: Uh....

4. While in bed with Lindsay, settling her down for her nap, she tries to distract me from making her take a nap by saying:

Lindsay: This is a picture mommom
Me: This is a tv
Lindsay: TV not work (it's not hooked up)
... Me: No, it doesn't work
Lindsay: Batteries dead

Lol I didn't realize she associated things not working to dead batteries, no matter the object. hahah Point to Lindsay though, I did get distracted.


I love my girls and I love they great ways they look at life.  This is by no means a full recount of all the funny things they say.  I just have a pitiful brain that cannot remember everything we laugh about.  I'm so happy to have them!

Laney's Baptism

Pre-baptism

On March 17th, 2012 Laney was baptized a member of our church by Arlin.  It was an eventful day for our family and it meant a lot to me, as a mom, to see my daughter baptized by her father.  We waited a little longer than just her 8 years (she turned 8 last summer) because the timing was not quite right for our family, and we wanted to make sure we were ready, all of us, to have Laney baptized into the church.  Laney had several people there to see her, but I am glad another little boy was baptized that day too so that we didn't have to try to fill all the program parts when 90% of our family is so very far away.  And it gave me the chance to not worry about the program details, but to think about the importance of the covenants, and promises, and to take the time to talk about them with Laney, and be relaxed the entire time.  We missed my family since they are the active members of our family, but we could feel them and their love across the miles.

Laney asked her Primary piano player, Sister Elisa Smith, to be there.  She sang a beautiful song for both of the kids and lead the music.  Brother Alba, was our resident bishopric member, which is interesting because he lived in Northern VA when I was a kid and I knew a couple of his sons from years ago.  He has a daughter married to a boy I grew up with, and a son married to a girl I went to girls' camp with as a teen.  Small world.  Really.  Sister Smith is actually married to a direct descendant of Hyrum Smith, brother to Joseph Smith, founder of our church.  I thought my dad my appreciate that bit of genealogy.  It was like my life was coming full circle.  From the beginning of the church to Laney, and from the beginning of my life as a member of the church to Laney.  Very inspiring.

Sister Cook, who works with me in the Young Women's organization came with her daughter, Madison, to support Laney too.  Madison and Laney are fairly good friends and enjoy spending time together at church.  I wish they lived a little closer to us so the girls could spend more time together, but perhaps we can do that as they grow.  The Cooks are a good family, and it was great to have them there, showing Laney ward love. The Stephens were also there, as were Arlin's parents and his brother Daniel.

Laney chose the song, "We Lived in Heaven"  as her choice of music, and I'm so glad she did.  It is a great primary song that talks about how we all knew the plan and came to earth to love, learn and return to our Father in Heaven again.  I was proud of her for recognizing the importance of the song in relation to baptism.  We were going to have good friends, the Halls, speak on the Holy Ghost.  But of course, we always have snafus in our plans, and Dusty and Stephanie didn't realize it was so late in the day (daylight savings time was going on) until it was too late and they missed it.  Brother Alba gave a great filler talk though, so all was well.  Brother Christensen, is our home teacher, and he and Chris Stephens were the witnesses of the baptism itself.  Which again was funny because Arlin tried to baptize her properly, and they made him switch sides, therefore he baptize her with the wrong hand in the air, and she had to come back in the water and get dunked again.  Like I said, we like to do it the long way in our house.

I made the famous Ballantyne champagne punch (yes, we could feel their love too!) and some super special mini rainbow colored cupcakes.  I was super proud of myself because mustering up the energy to do more than buy a box of cookies was crazy hard.  I was trying really hard to be in the moment, and not overwhelmed with the details and I think I pulled it off.  Angela Stephens helped me with some of the baking.  Originally I thought Laney was going to be baptized on March 31st, but on the 12 I found out it was going to be on the 17th (whoops!) so there was some scrambling going on around here.  It all worked out and I don't think Laney even realized we were scrambling.

Laney's baptism was sweet and I could feel the spirit there to support her.  She was so happy and excited to have her chance to make a choice about joining the church.  She felt very grown up, and it made me realize how quickly the time is going by, and running away with her youth.  I managed to make it through the entire time without crying by keeping myself busy, but rest assured it was a tender moment in my daughter's life that I will not forget.  I'm grateful to Arlin to be worthy to baptize her, and to take seriously how clean he needed to be to be the vessel for the priesthood powers to work.  I know that Laney could feel that and knew how important it was to us, that it was so important to her.  It was a day of her very own to think about Heavenly Father and promises we make when we join the church and take Christ's name upon us.

I'm so proud to have such a kind, sweet, gracious daughter. Laney is a loving sister, and big hearted soul who does not like to see others hurt.  She wants to please you and to do things right so you will be happy with her and proud of her.  She does not like to feel dissension or anger towards her or others, and likes to include everyone.  She tried to choose the right and to do the things Jesus would have her do so she can return to heaven and see her sister Taylor.  She constantly speaks about Taylor and how she wishes she were here with us, and it awesome to know how much she loves her sister who is so far away, but never forgotten even after these four years.  I grateful to be Laney's mom and to learn all she can teach me about being a mother and a child of God.  She's absolutely the best daughter you could ask for.

Laney and Arlin pre-baptism

The entire family.Arlin, me. Laney, Lindsay

Bed Time Update

So putting Lindsay and Laney down in the same room is still difficult and stressful and hard on all involved.  Lindsay likes to roam for at least an hour at night before she falls asleep, in some form of nudity usually, and then fall asleep in various locations throughout the room.  Laney who is hyper-vigiliant of everything and anyone, cannot fall asleep with a roaming sister.  So for now, the girls go to sleep in different rooms so they will actually go to sleep, and then we moved them into the same room together.  Sometimes Laney gets to go to bed in their room and sometimes Lindsay.  I must admit, it's easier to carry Lindsay to bed from a different room, but it's also better if she roams in her room instead of mine.

Then since they both call out in their sleep, they wake each other up throughout the night.  This results in Laney carrying Lindsay downstairs in the dark to me.  Where I kiss Lindsay, hug her, and walk her back upstairs to her own bed.  Repeat 1-3 times per night.  It's like having a newborn all over again.  I'm hoping they grown used to each other by the summer.

The biggest developement in our house (other than Laney's baptism-more onthat later when I have pictures with me) is that we are successfully potty training for #1, with #2 being a distant possibility, but a refusal for now.  She's going to get there, she just doesn't want to.  Since we are only 2 1/2 I don't feel a huge rush.  Lindsay can also sleep through her naps successfully and through most nights without accident.  I was putting her in panties at night because she would take off her diapers at night and so why bother? BUT now that she has awoken in the middle of the night to a couple of cold wet accidents, she likes to sleep in a diaper.  Now, during her evening roams she might remove all her clothing, but the diaper stays on.  Can't say if I'm happy or sad about this, but I am not pushing #2 or night time just yet.  She knows what she wants to do because she doesn't like sitting in a wet diaper either.  She will get there and so will we.  Our biggest progress to date: we made it through church in dry panties and through Laney's baptism in panties too.

I promise, mom, I will blog and post pictures of the baptism soon. :)

Funny Ha Ha

On the way home from church Laney, rolls down her car window. Then this happened in the car:


Lindsay: Mommom! Laney [2 yr old gibberish] window!
Me: You mean Laney has rolled down her window and is playing in the wind?
Lindsay: Yes!
Me: That's okay, Laney can roll down her window.
Lindsay: Laney! Turn off window right now! [humff!]

She obviously was displeased with my permission to Laney. hahahah

_________

Heard frequently at my house:


Daddy to Lindsay: You're a clown!
Lindsay to Daddy: No, daddy a clown!
Daddy to Lindsay: No, Daddy's not a clown, Mama's a clown!
Lindsay to Daddy: Mommom a clown!
Mom to All: Mama's not a clown, mama's a princess!
Lindsay to Mom: Mommom a clown!

*sigh*  They are ganging up on on me...

Potty Training and an Independent Strong Willed Two Year Old

Let's just say it's not all peaches and cream at our house when it comes to bed time any more.  We have friends in the house again, and in order to give the children their own room we put the girls together in a room.  It's mostly pretty good because Lindsay spends her days running around the entire house, not just limiting herself to one little room.  And with Laney at school, it's the night time we struggle with.  Lindsay has been wanting to potty train for some time now and we've encouraged going potty, but never shifted to panties because she really had just turned 2 and it seemed so early.

We'll she's only 2 1/2 (barely) and she is full out panties, except for night time.  She now refuses to do her dirty deed in the potty (she has several times before) and she does not want to wear anything to bed.  And I mean anything.  No panties, no diaper, no pjs, nothing.  So we put Laney to bed in our room, Lindsay in the shared room, and check on her every 10 minutes or so.  Well, in the 2 year old world, 10 minutes must be an eternity, because it seems it is exactly enough time to strip down to your birthday suit and pee on the floor, the bed, your clothes, just whatev.  Little stubborn thing!  She takes off a diaper to pee on these things!!!  Clearly she is sending a message, I've just got to figure out what is is!  (And in case you think it is because she doesn't want to share a room, she started doing this before we merged their rooms).  Let the bedtime games begin! *sigh*

Sweetest Girl

Wednesday night was Young Women's New Beginnings night.  For those who don't know, it's when the Young Women's group at my church (girls 12-18) come together to talk about the Young Women's Personal Progress program.  Personal Progress is a system set up that encourages and teaches the girls how to make, set, and achieve goals based on the Young Women's values of Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue.  Wednesday night is also Activity Day Girls for the girls aged 8-11 (which now includes Laney).  So twice a month I take Laney along with me to church, where she goes to her activities and I go to mine.

On this particular Wednesday we were having our New Beginnings.  It was very inspiring and moving to hear about setting goals, working towards eternally important things like having faith, getting to the temple, and the other values.  By the end of the night I was very overwhelmed with the spirit, testifying to me about the great blessings of the gospel.  In the middle of this, I was also coordinating Laney's upcoming baptism with another mother who has a child that will be baptized at the same time.  Since her baptism was on my mind, I was a little emotional talking to my fellow Young Women leaders.  I was making sure to invite plenty of the kids Laney is friends with in her Sunday School class, so she can see them there on her important day, supporting her great decision.  I begin to openly cry while I was talking to my friend Emily, because I was explaining to her that I remember my baptismal day very clearly.  What I don't remember are all the talks, the songs, or the snacks.  What I do remember is my best friend was crying and my mother was consoling her.  I asked my mother why my friend was crying and my mom told me it was because she was so happy for me because being baptized is so important.  I've had that memory my entire life.  Being so young I thought I understood the baptismal promises, I thought I was ready.  But as a mother, I know that I so moved, not only due to my baptismal promises, but also because I had a good friend who was there, to be with me and to support me.

I was telling all of this to Emily and I could barely control myself, and she gave me a hug and we kinda moved on in the conversation.  A few minutes later, I was gathering up my things and Laney to go home.  Laney saw I had tears still left in my eyes, and asked me very concerned, "What's the matter, mommy?  Did they kick you out?"  Ah, my darling daughter, always concerned about if everyone is happy, fitting in and being treated kindly.  You're a jewel.

Today's Inspiration

Sometimes it gets tiring, and you can feel like stopping.  Today I read this (not for the first time), and remembered why we try again day after day:

"There’d been a storm, and tens of thousands of starfish had been washed onto a beach. A man walked the beach, saddened to see all the dying creatures. Up ahead, he saw another man. The man was tossing starfish back into the ocean.

“You can’t save all these starfish,” the first man said. “What does it matter?”

The second man turned to the first. He leaned over, picked up a starfish, and cast it into the sea.

“Well,” he told the first man, “it mattered to that one.”

I'm now recommitted to working hard and making a difference, helping people one at a time.  Just because it's not about changing the world, but about helping people change their world.

ARLIN

You know when you meet a new couple, and sometimes the pieces of the individuals don't seem to be the piece you would have put together in the couple?  Yet, somehow, the couple works really well together, and compliments each other and just is?  You ever wonder what someone sees in their other half?  Ever been asked what you see in your partner?  Ever just think to yourself, these are the things I love about my spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend?  I have.  Probably to most of those.  I think about Arlin all the time.  I think about why I love him, why he works for me, what I see in him, what he does for my family, how he loves me, why we work, and yes, even why he drives me crazy sometimes.

Seeing as it's almost Valentine's Day (a holiday I abhor, and we skip at my house), I thought I would put in writing the things I love most about Arlin.  The things that no one gets to see but me, the things that make him wonderful, and make me grateful that he's mine.  So, here we go, Ahem:

Things I Love About Arlin
1. He's funny - he seriously makes me laugh all the time, and I need a sense of humor to lighten myself up.  He can even make me laugh when I want to wring his little neck.  That's some talent!
2. He's kind to no end - He is always thinking of others.  He likes to drop notes to old friends, send people who are sick flowers, give change to the needy, give rides to the helpless, you get the idea.  He doesn't think about how it will take away from himself to help others, he just sees a need and helps.
3. He's a great dad - He is willing to watch the girls whenever I need him.  He stays home with them when he is not at work, and can do it day after day.  He makes up games to play with them, and crawls around on the floor. He is quick to say I love you to the girls, and quick to make sure they treat mom respectfully too.
4. He's laid back - I can be OCD when I want to.  AND even when I don't want to be.  He's always there encouraging me to lighten up and don't sweat the stuff that doesn't matter.  He lets me have my way when he knows to me it matters and when my OCD monster can't settle down.
5. He tells me I'm beautiful - All the time.  He tells me he loves me, and that I'm his number one.  It's been 10 years in a few months, since we have been married, and he still makes me feel like I'm the best girl he's ever met.
6. He's willing to admit it when he is wrong - He changes when he's wrong, and he fesses up to mistakes.  That takes quite a man.
7. He speaks my language - We think on the same wavelength about a lot of things, and it's comforting to know I'm not the only one who thinks 3/4 of the world is insane!
8. He forgets my mistakes - As far as I can tell he doesn't hold a grudge.  He's way better than me in that department! I need to emulate him a little more there.
9. He has an intense sense of loyalty - Even to those who don't deserve it. But I have to admire him for always doing what he thinks is right, no matter the actions of those other fools who do not deserve him.
10. He has a pure heart - He might disagree with me on this one, but I think he has a pure heart.  He tries to live according to his actions and not as a hypocrite, who likes things in theory and doesn't follow rules themselves.  If he doesn't live it, he doesn't preach it to others.

Now, these are not my top 10, but theses are 10 of my hundreds of reasons that I think Arlin is the cat's meow.  I'm super grateful to have him in my life, and even more super grateful he puts up with me in my moods and hormones.  He's the best, and I apologize to the other ladies out there who cannot have him.  Sorry ladies!  I just love him!

Ah, She's Growing Up ... and I'm NOT Ready!!!

My little Laney is getting older and I just can't believe it!  She's 8, almost 9, and she's going away from the kid stage and entering into the preteen stage.  I always thought that stage started around 11 / 12, but nope, it starts around age 9 for girls.  Laney is starting to talk about getting a phone or a ipod, she wants her own computer, a fancy wardrobe (sometimes, though getting her to brush her hair is torture), she is starting to use deodorant, and she's finally starting to ask those questions about her body chaning.  I know all the answers, I even remember the exact talk my mother had with me and the things she used to explain it all to me.  I just don't want to face these issues with her.  Things like:

1. Body changes
2. Drugs
3. Bullies
4. Bad friends
5. Sex
6. Dating

Etc., etc., etc.  It's all so daunting and makes you feel like there are right and wrong ways to present the material to a child, so they can understand the importance of their decisions, the blessings of having a body, the effect friends have on our lives for good/bad.  I wish I could just put my thoughts in her head, but I know she has to grow into this understanding little by little and piece by piece.  I pray about taking advantage of the opportunities to teach as they arrive.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Lindsay is ready for potty training.  I'm ready for her to be ready, but I also would love it if she just kinda taught herself.  LOL  I'm not looking forward to spending several days/weeks talking and asking about going to the potty. We've started the process already, and she does use the potty some, but we have a lot of work to do to make it a change for her.

My babies are growing up.  I can't believe it!  I'm happy/sad and excited for them and us.  It's great. 

Is it a Trial, a Consequence, or a Result of Disobedience?

I keep thinking about things I need to do to make myself better, my family better, our lives better.  I think there are several things I just to need to move on past and memories I need to let go.  People I need to forgive and put away from my mind because they are stopping me from being the person I want to be.  It's hard to determine when the things in life that happen to us are trials, consequences, or results of disobedience? And yes, I've prayed to know, but I guess sometimes it doesn't matter, I still need to deal and develop.  President James E. Faust said,

"All of us suffer some injuries from experiences that seem to have no rhyme or reason. We cannot understand or explain them. We may never know why some things happen in this life. The reason for some of our suffering is known only to the Lord. But because it happens, it must be endured. President Howard W. Hunter said that “God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see.”

President Brigham Young offered this profound insight that at least some of our suffering has a purpose when he said: “Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to enjoy the presence of the Lord. … Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.”"

Read his entire talk here.  I'm grateful for trial, grateful for consequences (they prove there is justice and that there is a purpose here), and even for punishment (it gets me back to where I need to be).  I just wish sometimes it was easier to tell apart one from the other.

This Little Light of Mine

I am going to get around to posting some more recent pictures of the girls, I promise.  In the mean time, I want to tell you some fairly funny things Laney has been telling me lately:

1: While changing a very yucky diaper of Lindsay's, Laney sits next to me and says, "It's a good thing we didn't have a son."  Of course I respond with, "Why?" and her reply is, "Cause then you'd have to touch IT."
2: While working on chores at home on the weekend with Laney she says, "I wish we were at Grandma's house already." "Why is that?," I ask.  "Because her house is more fun than here."
3: Lindsay is 2, so in being 2 she says a lot of No.  Lately she says, "No Japanese!" (Um...yeah, I have no idea!)
4: For about 6 months now Lindsay has been very angry at the birds around town.  Not sure how it started, or even the why, but anytime she sees birds she frantically waves her arm in the air in a shooing motion and says, "Go away birds!" or "Get outta here birds!"  And she means it.
5: Laney is 8 and we've been talking about prayer, obedience, repentance and the like a lot lately, in effort to help her with her accountability.  I've talked to her about hearing answers to her prayers and the such, but I think she has been thinking about it a lot because yesterday at church she told me, "Mom I know how to hear Heavenly Father when he talks to me.  I say words to him, but not out loud, and without moving my lips and I told him 'I Love You' and I heard him say 'And I Love You' back to me."
6: My new name from Lindsay, "Mommom".  One word, again, no idea because she does say Mama and they do sound differently.
7: Laney had a conduct note sent home from school for talking in class.  She is definitely a little chatty and we've talked about it several times before, so in addition to no television over the weekend, Arlin had her write 'I will not talk in school' 100 times.  (He's very old school when he's trying not to be a spanker). She wrote her sentences, served her time and we're on to a new week.  Or so I thought, until she brought a sheet of paper up to me that had 'I will not talk' written 65 times.  She told me she needed a head start in case Arlin told her to write sentences again the next time she was in trouble.  hahahahah  I think she missed the point there!

Got My Mind on My Money and My Money on My Mind

One employed spouse tends to make you take a hard look at money.  We are technically able to pay our bills, but it's a squeaky kind of thing.  I'm super grateful to be able to pay them too.  This time a year ago, not so much on making bills.  We've come a long way, baby.  BUT the entire point of this post is really to bring up a idea Arlin and I saw on television the other day...a monthly financial fast.  I was very impressed with the length the family would go to in order to keep their financial fast.  And I must admit, we were both inspired and are thinking of putting a financial fast in place in our family.  Here's how it works (according to my understanding of the show): for a predetermined time period you do not spend money.  For this family, it was once a month, they have a week where they "fast" and do not spend money for an entire week during the month.  It was crazy watching their extremes...they would run out of shampoo and use the little mini freebie shampoos you get from a hotel, and they would scrounge for loose change in their couch, around air machines at gas stations, etc. to pick up dinner if they ran out of food around the house.  It was crazy.

I'm not sure we'll dig for change around air machines, but there are weeks where we can not get those extra groceries that we want just cause we have a craving, not go out to eat, not do any movies at the redbox, or just not spend the money.  It's amazing how much money leaves your wallet in small drips as opposed to large gushes.  I'm hoping we do institute a week or at least several days of financial fasting at our house.  I'd like to see how it changes things and maybe it will help us curb bad habits in our other weeks.