Two Kids

I know most of my friends have more than two children, but some have none and some have one just like we used to.  Lately, I've been thinking about the status of being the oldest child.  I am not the oldest child, but I have one who plays one on tv.  She is actually, a really great kid and we can't complain about having her around in the least.  I do wonder sometimes though if she feels like she is getting the raw end of the deal for being the oldest kid.  Laney is 7 now and while she still enjoys hugs and cuddle time, she wants to do it on her own schedule and not when we feel like doling out the love.  Babies are trapped.  They have to let you hold them and kiss them all over, and the best part is they don't know any different.

So usually when I get home from work, I walk upstairs to greet the family.  Laney looks up at me and smiles, and returns to her tv/toy/project.  Lindsay squeal, and comes racing (well, army crawling as fast as she can) over to me with the most excited grin on her little face.  She is downright beside herself to see me and thinks there is nothing better in the world than mommy getting home.  So I have what I would consider a natural reaction, and laugh, smile and pick her up and kiss her little face and head all over.  After a couple of minutes of this, I tell myself to stop, and then I make a concentrated effort to be smiley and lively and kissy to Laney.  She doesn't usually let me kiss her too much, but she does a little.  I know as the kids grow up they cool when it comes to displays of affection (I remember doing it to my parents), but I have this great fear that Laney will see us being so excited and animated with Lindsay that she'll one day think Lindsay has all of our love. 

We tell her in words and are sure to be excited to see her too, but you know how people are about babies.  She says her grandparents like Lindsay better, but I've never heard her ask if we love Lindsay better.  Maybe we are doing something right, but do any of you other parents out there wonder if some of your kids feel your love, and some don't?  Or do you wonder if some kids are jealous of the others?  You know, like thinking you have a favorite?