My Puerto Rican Party

So last night Arlin and I went to a birthday on the other side of town for his friend Gretchen.  The party was at Gretchen's house and involved her mom, boyfriend, her brother Mike, their kids, our mutual friends Randy and his wife, and us.  As far as parties go, it was pretty fun.  There was a lot of loud music, some great homemade self proclaimed "island food", and some good times had by all.  I have only met Mike and Gretchen once before, but I'm good friends with Randy and his wife Aimone.  While Randy, Aimone, Arlin, the kids and I were the only ones not drinking or smoking (contents undecided), it was really actually, a fun time.  I enjoyed getting to know Arlin's old friends and hearing the stories they share with one another about their fond high school and middle school memories.

BUT, the highlight for me this night, last night, was one little nameless child -- nameless because I can't remember his name and I'm sure someone told me.  This little boy was the cutest thing ever and he is going to be quite a handful for girls and mothers and women in general everywhere!  He is approximately 3 years old and I really only saw him from afar most of the night, watching him and the other kids while they played with balloons.  They played the way we all did as kids - hitting balloons at each other, rubbing static in our hair, trying to keep them off the ground before they fall, and becoming territorial over the balloon we deemed as ours.  I thought he was cute, and a little wound up for 10 at night, but I didn't think too much of anything.  A couple of times I saved his balloon from going off the balcony of the second floor apartment, so maybe that's what made me catch his attention?  I don't think we'll ever know.  What I do know, is that several hours into the party I heard a loud pop.  The sounds that only means, a balloon was killed, a terrible sound for children everywhere.  I expected the sound to be followed by a lot of crying and some yelling between children placing blame upon one another.  What happened next really surprised me and made me giggle several times since.  This little boy that had caught my eye, immediately, upon balloon poppage, brought his pieces of broken balloon past his aunt, past his mom, past his dad, past his grandmother, straight to (you guessed it) ME and put them in my hands.  Huh?  Well, as any good mother, I exclaimed, "Oh No, What Happened to Your Balloon?  Did it break?  Are you okay?"  Etc., etc.  I found out he doesn't know too much English but enough, when he said, "Broken".  and I said again, "Oh no, what happened?"  And then, he backed up, stuck out his little finger and pointed at me and said, "You did it."  And so I would not be mistaken, he repeated himself, "You did it."  Very emphatically I might add.  Then, he turned and walked away.  What?!    Okay, whatever, funny, but, alright.

I thought his fascination with me was over then, somehow I was the woman who popped his balloon, no problem, I can handle that blame.  But later during the night when the salsa music got louder and the dancing got faster, and he got more tired and was trying harder to stay awake with movement, he walked past his aunt, past his mom, past his grandmother, and came to me again.  He reached out for my hands and pulled me on the floor so I could be his salsa partner.  He danced a little with everyone in the room after that, but came to me over and over after most of his other partners.  His uncle, our friend Mike, said, "What did you do to him?"  I had no idea, until we all caught on at the same time when his great uncle said, and we all realized, I was the only white girl in the room, and the only person in the room that had blonde hair.  I guess this kid already has a "type".  Hilarious!

I'm flattered.  I'm almost famous.

Things That Make Me Cry

So, when I was a kid, I hardly ever cried.  I mean, I cried if I broke my collar bone, or if my horse died, but in movies, in life, as a general rule, I didn't cry.  THEN, I had children.  Now, there are a lot of side effects to having kids.  Some people gain weight and never get it back off, some have feet that grow a shoe size or two, some lose their memory, the list can go on and on.  But, for me, children have brought two side effects that I notice the most: my hair is darker, and I cry.  I do, I cry.  I bawl like a baby.  I can't help it.  I even hate myself for it, but I cry.  When I get so frustrated I can't stand another second, I laugh and cry at the same time even.  When I'm stressed out, I toss and turn in bed at night, weeping.  Finally, I always cry while watching Extreme Home Makeover and when I hear about someone getting a divorce. 

Extreme Home Makeover makes me cry because I'm so overwhelmed that people still care.  I really am.  It seems sometimes that people don't care anymore, and often I have thought, "Why do I care, when no one else does?"  That show though, shows the good in people.  The good we all sometimes hide from each other. the side that can be damaged by life, by cruel words, by indifference.  EHMO reveals how we really do think of others, and how we can sacrifice for those who really need it.  I love that!  It touches me.  Each and every time.  I love it.

Also, anyone who gets a divorce, gets tears from me, I don't even have to know them. I think divorce is the saddest thing EVER.  I know, I know, I know...sometimes divorce is for the best.  Sometimes there is abuse (physical, emotional or mental), sometimes there is infidelity, sometimes there is neglect, etc.  To me though divorce is like a death of a family member.  Death of some one's hope in another person or in a union.  When you marry a person, you believe that person loves you no matter what.  And will be there for you, with you, behind you, no matter what.  Life doesn't work that way.  I've seen it, and it just doesn't work that way.  It's supposed to, but it doesn't.  And sometimes we all have to move on to preserve ourselves and/or our lives and/or our children and/or our sanity.  And so people divorce.  And when they do, there is a little bit of hope that is snuffed out in this world.  And that is sad.  That loss of hope.  The world gets a little dimmer every time I think.

Odd, isn't it?  That I cry for two things that are so opposite?  I can't help that, having children ruined me.  If you've had a kid, you know that.  That's okay though, my hairs is now a little darker, and now I cry.  I cry for you, sacrificing helpers of those less fortunate, and divorcees and divorcers.  I cry for you.  In case you think no one cares, know I'm here, and I'm crying for you.

New Year's Resolutions

Do you have any New Year's Resolutions?  Are you one of the millions of humanoids that makes resolutions and keeps them?  OR are you one of the millions of humanoids that makes resolutions and doesn't keep them?  Better yet, are you someone who doesn't bother to make resolutions because you make changes throughout the year as you see the need for them?  Are you constantly striving to make your life a better thing for yourself, your family, your community?  I wish I could say I belonged to any one of the above groups.  I could be the successful person who made first of the year commitments and kept them, or the successful person who makes changes without needing a big annual day of promises, or even the person who means well, but never quite gets there.  I'm not.

I am one of the millions of humoids that sometimes makes resolutions, sometimes doesn't, sometimes keeps them, sometimes doesn't, and sometimes can't commit to them and makes little changes along the way.  I really can't tell you what is best or even works the best for me.  Hey, I'm just a blob of organic matter, I constantly grow and change, sometimes without my own consent.  This year, I haven't really written down and resolutions, and I can't bring myself to commit to them right now, but on the off chance I were going to make any resolutions for 2011, they might be the following:

1. I vow to judge people less, and forgive people more.  This entire anger and resentment thing eats me alive, and it never affects the people I'm mad at or resent.  They happily go on in their oblivious little world still being a burden, still being stupid.  And I'm the suffering one.  From now on, I pity people and dismiss them from memory.

2. I vow to be patient with my children more, and find a better way to teach them right from wrong.  I want to work less on the punishment system (unless necessitated of course) and work more on the positive encouragement, look at you and your awesomeness system.  It's getting to be a little tricky with a pre-preteen, but I will find a way.

3. I vow to start being healthy again.  Methods subject to change of course.  Either working out more, sleeping more, reading scriptures more, going to the temple more, eating better, anything, so long as it's an improvement.

4. I vow to not settle for less than I deserve.

5. I vow to pay it forward.  I will let people in front of me in traffic or at the bank, I will donate my time, I will give back to people who give to me.

6.  I vow to cut myself some slack.

So what are your resolutions?  Did you make any?  Do you care?  Whatever your answer, GOOD LUCK! and Happy New Year!

Laney's Getting Glasses

So my little girl is getting some glasses.  Well, this explains some of the problems she has been having at school, but I'm really surprised her eye sight has deterioated this far this fast.  Arlin was the lucky man to take her and Lindsay to the eye doctor last week.  Here is my report on how the visit went:

1. They got lost, the doctor's office was not clearly marked
2. All the while the baby was screaming in her car seat, complaining about being in the car
3. They found the right joint, went in, and began to WAIT
4. Wait, wait, wait
5. Finally go back to see the doctor to find out she needs glasses (no surprise there, but wait! there's more!!)
6. They take the whole group 2 kids, one frustrated dad, to the area to pick out glasses
7. Laney proceeds to pick up, try on, and put down multiple pairs of glasses.  In his mind Arlin is steering her to the set covered by our insurance so we don't have to pay any more than we have to
8. After "trying on" multiple pairs, what do you know?!, but she loves the pink Dinsey glasses.  And how do we know this?  Because she puts them on, flings her long hair over her shoulder and pronounces, "I look FABULOUS".

YES, she did.  Who taught her that?  I blame Arlin.  But it's too funny.  The sales lady of course tried to upsell here to every single more expensive pair, but she stuck with her fabulous pair she originally picked out.  Good girl, make mama proud!  Arlin continued to hold a squirmy baby, fend off additional upsells, and sign paperwork.  Then they met me after work at a local Wendy's for a quick bite to eat.  So of course I teased Laney about how expensive she was, getting her shiny new glasses and all.  She blushed and said, "What?!  I can't help I look good in them."  Oh me, oh my.  Preteen already?

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!  It has been a great holiday year at our house this year, and I do know how wonderfully blessed and lucky we are!  It's very odd to have two kids so far about in ages.  It's almost like we have two only children.  We have a second grader and a one year old and sometimes I feel like we have one or the other.  It's been tricky to shift my gears from reading and writing and homework to can she feed herself with a sippy cup and a spoon.  Sometimes I think, "Hey!, I've already tackled and conquered that."  Only to remember of course, that while one child has, we still have another to go.  Oh me, on my, why do I mentally move on when reality is still coping with actuality?

This year was a budget Christmas, and it wasn't too difficult because I knew it would be and I planned ahead and started purchasing gifts in early November.  The only problem with pre-purchasing your gifts is that as new toy commercials hit the television, Laney would change her mind about what she wanted.  I found myself thinking, several times, "I hope she remembers she liked that last month!"  Alas, there was nothing to worry about as Laney is a very gracious and kind 7 year old, and Christmas Eve found her saying to herself, while rapidly throwing wrapping paper over her shoulder, "This is the best dream I ever had!"  I'm not sure why she said she was dreaming in the middle of opening the gifts, but I'm going to take that as her dreams were coming true and that toy she got was beyond her imagination.  Lindsay of course, had no clue what was going on, and she carried around her first present for 10 minutes before moving on to carrying around the second gift.

Now that we live far away from my family again, I found myself thinking of them several times and missing them a lot for our Christmas traditions.  Arlin and I don't really have any Christmas traditions because we have usually spent every holiday with either his family or mine.  The years when we haven't gone anywhere in particular, have been very few and so we now have the challenge of setting up our own traditions.  I think it will get better as time goes on, but we found our Christmas to be very quiet and full of baby naps and quiet playing of the DS by Laney.  We ate and ate and watch some movies to entertain the adults, but it doesn't feel the same without a large gathering of family.

While it has been a good year, I am so glad this year is almost over with it's ups and downs and challenges galore.  We are facing froward and moving on at my house, and I'm already planning to see all the good things 2011 has in store for me!  Merry Christmas everyone!

Open for Business

Some how I got to be in this boat ... this tub of business ownership.  I swore when I was small I would never own a business.  Working for "the man" was fine by me.  I knew it was fine by me because I watched my father, who ran his own busineess, deal with the stresses of business ownership, and I wanted no part of any other those stresses!  My husband, had other plans for his life and we've owned more than 4 business.  Each of which has been larger than the one before, more complicated, more financially stressful, and more meaningful if successful.  I thought I would do a list of pros and cons because sometimes I forget the good and the bad of this situation I'm in because I'm too busy just surviving the details. 

I am all about being an employee for the following reasons:

1. I know my paycheck comes right on time, every time, no matter how well I performed
2. I don't have to worry about how my coworkers are doing as far as bringing in money
3. I don't have to worry about how snow days are not equal to income
4. I don't have to worry about paying taxes on other people's income
5. I don't worry about how labor laws take even more of my profits away from me
6. No one assumes employees are "rich" just because they are called an "employee"
7. When I clock out, my work day is done and I can worry about the things that are important to my personal life
8. I don't have to worry about another entire set of bills or budgets, or anything really!

Why I'm not all happy skippy about being a business owner:

1. Snow days eat into profit.  If your shop doesn't open you can't sell anything
2. You have to pay taxes not only on your profit, but on your inventory, your employee earnings, your thought, your hopes and your dreams
3. Everyone assumes you are "rich" and then begin to "borrow" (read steal) things that do not belong to them because you're so "rich" you have enough money to buy more!
4. You have to worry about how the employees treat each other and if they make it a good or bad work envirnoment for each other, if they lie, steal, or cheat on each other, and if they lie, steal, or cheat you OR your customers
5. You have to out smart more than 10 people to out think them, provide before they realize they lack, and to know everything about everything.  You are considered a tax expert, a health care law expert, a city and state law expert, and/or an industry expert
6. You are personally invested in something you have almost no control over -- you depend on other people's actions so much so they have the chance to defeat you before you know it, if you don't stay on your a - game
7. Vacations cease to exist, you are forever tied to a payroll period, a holiday staffing nightmare, a broken phone, a broken computer, etc., etc., etc.
8. The business does not return any investment money to the owner for years! In fact, it often requires a steady influx of personal money.  Such money must be gathered by loan, by credit, or through hard work at a "second job", a full time job, which is acutally the job that pays for the bills and the buiness to keep going.

Why I am happy to be a business owner:

1. I am the boss and what I say goes ... at least until there is a law against it!

Two Kids

I know most of my friends have more than two children, but some have none and some have one just like we used to.  Lately, I've been thinking about the status of being the oldest child.  I am not the oldest child, but I have one who plays one on tv.  She is actually, a really great kid and we can't complain about having her around in the least.  I do wonder sometimes though if she feels like she is getting the raw end of the deal for being the oldest kid.  Laney is 7 now and while she still enjoys hugs and cuddle time, she wants to do it on her own schedule and not when we feel like doling out the love.  Babies are trapped.  They have to let you hold them and kiss them all over, and the best part is they don't know any different.

So usually when I get home from work, I walk upstairs to greet the family.  Laney looks up at me and smiles, and returns to her tv/toy/project.  Lindsay squeal, and comes racing (well, army crawling as fast as she can) over to me with the most excited grin on her little face.  She is downright beside herself to see me and thinks there is nothing better in the world than mommy getting home.  So I have what I would consider a natural reaction, and laugh, smile and pick her up and kiss her little face and head all over.  After a couple of minutes of this, I tell myself to stop, and then I make a concentrated effort to be smiley and lively and kissy to Laney.  She doesn't usually let me kiss her too much, but she does a little.  I know as the kids grow up they cool when it comes to displays of affection (I remember doing it to my parents), but I have this great fear that Laney will see us being so excited and animated with Lindsay that she'll one day think Lindsay has all of our love. 

We tell her in words and are sure to be excited to see her too, but you know how people are about babies.  She says her grandparents like Lindsay better, but I've never heard her ask if we love Lindsay better.  Maybe we are doing something right, but do any of you other parents out there wonder if some of your kids feel your love, and some don't?  Or do you wonder if some kids are jealous of the others?  You know, like thinking you have a favorite?