Things That Make Me Cry

So, when I was a kid, I hardly ever cried.  I mean, I cried if I broke my collar bone, or if my horse died, but in movies, in life, as a general rule, I didn't cry.  THEN, I had children.  Now, there are a lot of side effects to having kids.  Some people gain weight and never get it back off, some have feet that grow a shoe size or two, some lose their memory, the list can go on and on.  But, for me, children have brought two side effects that I notice the most: my hair is darker, and I cry.  I do, I cry.  I bawl like a baby.  I can't help it.  I even hate myself for it, but I cry.  When I get so frustrated I can't stand another second, I laugh and cry at the same time even.  When I'm stressed out, I toss and turn in bed at night, weeping.  Finally, I always cry while watching Extreme Home Makeover and when I hear about someone getting a divorce. 

Extreme Home Makeover makes me cry because I'm so overwhelmed that people still care.  I really am.  It seems sometimes that people don't care anymore, and often I have thought, "Why do I care, when no one else does?"  That show though, shows the good in people.  The good we all sometimes hide from each other. the side that can be damaged by life, by cruel words, by indifference.  EHMO reveals how we really do think of others, and how we can sacrifice for those who really need it.  I love that!  It touches me.  Each and every time.  I love it.

Also, anyone who gets a divorce, gets tears from me, I don't even have to know them. I think divorce is the saddest thing EVER.  I know, I know, I know...sometimes divorce is for the best.  Sometimes there is abuse (physical, emotional or mental), sometimes there is infidelity, sometimes there is neglect, etc.  To me though divorce is like a death of a family member.  Death of some one's hope in another person or in a union.  When you marry a person, you believe that person loves you no matter what.  And will be there for you, with you, behind you, no matter what.  Life doesn't work that way.  I've seen it, and it just doesn't work that way.  It's supposed to, but it doesn't.  And sometimes we all have to move on to preserve ourselves and/or our lives and/or our children and/or our sanity.  And so people divorce.  And when they do, there is a little bit of hope that is snuffed out in this world.  And that is sad.  That loss of hope.  The world gets a little dimmer every time I think.

Odd, isn't it?  That I cry for two things that are so opposite?  I can't help that, having children ruined me.  If you've had a kid, you know that.  That's okay though, my hairs is now a little darker, and now I cry.  I cry for you, sacrificing helpers of those less fortunate, and divorcees and divorcers.  I cry for you.  In case you think no one cares, know I'm here, and I'm crying for you.