Laney just turned eight in June, and in our church it is called the age of accountability. It means you are old enough to understand your actions and the consequences of them, and the responsibility you have for them. At this point we baptize children, and it is obviously something very moving and sweet to see your child reach such a major milestone. I have to be honest though, it is SCARING the living daylights out of me. It is one of the first major step backs I have to make as a parent and I can't say I enjoy it. Sending her to daycare was hard because I wasn't there to keep her safe and make sure people did not pick on her, or that teachers were nice. Beginning school was huge too, she was now a full time student for the first time and was responsible for things away from me. And I had to step back and rely on her to understand what she needed to do and how to do it. I had to trust her relationships with students, teachers, leaders would be positive up-lifting relationships; and I had to deal with the fall out when they were not.
Laney has not been baptized yet because she spent the summer at grandma's and grandpa's house on summer vacation. We were going to handle it as soon as she returned, but our congregation was divided because it was too large. No we are in week 3 of a brand new congregation and everything is new to everyone. We're giving Laney some time to get back to home rules (no grandparent rules) and the congregation time to assign someone the baptism responsibility so we can smoothly walk through the event. I've also been trying to prepare Laney and help her to understand the significance of it all. The fact that it means she has to stand up and be strong for herself, pray for forgiveness for mistakes, pray for guidance in decisions, and build a relationship with Heavenly Father of her very own. And here I am taking another step back and allowing her to be her own person and grow from her decisions and mistakes.
I am one of those parents that does not buffer my child from consequences, but deep inside I really want to. I really want to. And I can't. Not any more. I can guide her, instruct her, pray for her, and support her. But she is growing up and becoming her own person and living her life. I know she is only eight, but 18 and college and 21 and missions, and 26 and marriage (59 if you ask Arlin) doesn't feel so far away anymore. And I'm a little sad too, to lose my little baby girl and her sweet blond curly headed self. They say as soon as you have children you are teaching yourself to hold them close, and them to let you go. To eat and drink and sleep on their own, to be okay staying with the babysitter, to eat with a fork and drink from a sippy, to go to the potty all alone, to leave on that school bus with confidence, to pray and read their scriptures, and on and on.
The more I teach her to let go, the more I want to hold on ...
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Happy Anniversary to Me! Errr...Us!
Yesterday was our 9th wedding anniversary. It's kinda crazy to think about it. We went out to dinner and to see the final Harry Potter movie. We saw the movie purely for old time's sake, as the first Harry Potter movie was our first date at the Uptown (which was a totally cool place to watch a movie, IF you are on time). We unfortunately were late to the first movie, therefore our group of friends mostly didn't sit together and Arlin and I actually got to sit under the emergency lights, which were really quite bright. I mean, you know something is wrong with the seat when the entire theater is filled and there are three seats in a row empty -- right in the middle of a row. Ah, memories! So last night, we were early for the movie, the room was pretty much empty, and it was just the two of us. I had a great time. Most of all because he picked out the movie, remembering our first date, and I, totally clueless and tired after a 12 hour work day, forgot we saw the first HP movie 9 years ago. What a good man!
We spent a lot of our dinner conversation talking about how it felt when we were first married. How crazy it was to walk around as a married couple, and how we were always impressed when people would say they had been married 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, 17 years, you name it. And here we are, 9 years later and still amazed because time moves so slowly and so quickly at the same time. It's been a good 9 years, and a very hard 9 years. We actually call the first 5 years of marriage, our dark years because we have had so many trials. So many trials. Some days I feel I must surely know how Job felt when everything just collapsed around him and then it got harder and harder and people left and family died. Poor Job. When I think those thoughts, the Spirit always whispers to me, "But you are not yet as Job. Your friends have not yet left you." And it's true. While we have had many many trials, much moving, several jobs, babies, and funerals, we have always had our friends.
AND so here we are, ready to continue on this journey and go another 50 years. Just don't leave us friends. :)
We spent a lot of our dinner conversation talking about how it felt when we were first married. How crazy it was to walk around as a married couple, and how we were always impressed when people would say they had been married 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, 17 years, you name it. And here we are, 9 years later and still amazed because time moves so slowly and so quickly at the same time. It's been a good 9 years, and a very hard 9 years. We actually call the first 5 years of marriage, our dark years because we have had so many trials. So many trials. Some days I feel I must surely know how Job felt when everything just collapsed around him and then it got harder and harder and people left and family died. Poor Job. When I think those thoughts, the Spirit always whispers to me, "But you are not yet as Job. Your friends have not yet left you." And it's true. While we have had many many trials, much moving, several jobs, babies, and funerals, we have always had our friends.
AND so here we are, ready to continue on this journey and go another 50 years. Just don't leave us friends. :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
Heaven
Did you know that the creator of the Brady Bunch died not too long ago? Well he did. Not only did he create the show, he wrote the jingle. AND he created Gilligan's Island and wrote the jingle to it too! Okay, so you are probably not as impressed as I am, well, I'm not that really impressed though he did create decades of television and rerun history. What I am impressed with is a statement I heard about him on NPR last week. He wrote a letter to be read posthumously. In this letter he said may beautiful things that I hope I am clever enough to say before I go. Among my favorite things he wrote:
"Am I going to Heaven or not?"
"That's what I was going to ask when I got here," I say. Then I suddenly realized something when we talked. Heaven is where I've been since the day I was born."
I've been thinking about those words of his. Heaven is where I've been since the day I was born. He didn't say only during the good times, but I think he meant to include the bad times. Heaven is every day you are surrounded by the people whom love you, and every day you are surrounded by those whom allow you to love them back.
"Am I going to Heaven or not?"
"That's what I was going to ask when I got here," I say. Then I suddenly realized something when we talked. Heaven is where I've been since the day I was born."
I've been thinking about those words of his. Heaven is where I've been since the day I was born. He didn't say only during the good times, but I think he meant to include the bad times. Heaven is every day you are surrounded by the people whom love you, and every day you are surrounded by those whom allow you to love them back.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
The Houston Zoo with our Cousins
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| The girls had a great time and were practically inseperable |
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| Watching monkeys |
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| You can see Lindsay is "hiding" from Uncle Jeremy. She would not look at him directly if she thought he was looking at her. It cracked us all up most of the day. She finally warmed up by the end of the day. |
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| Audrey loved coming over to visit with Lindsay |
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| Group photo. We moms wisely took the picutres |
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| Jamie had to be the first to put her head in before the girls would try it out |
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| Laney...playing it cool |
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| Lindsay and I resting while the other girls run around the play area |
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| She had a great time and actually stayed in her stroller like a champ! |
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| Jamie trying out the wagon. :) |
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| By the end of the day we were all bushed. No one would carry the rest of us though! :) |
Earlier this spring we went to the Houston Zoo, on Earth Day as a matter of fact. (Not that we actually planned it that well, it just worked out that way). We always have a great time with our cousins, and Laney and Lindsay LOVE having other little girls to play with. We saw all the animals, ran around the play areas, and just had a great time. Lindsay would not look Uncle Jeremy in the eye for several hours. She had a brief stage where she would not look at men she did not know. Just men...women were fine. Laney actually went through the same stage, so it wasn't too shocking to watch this happen with Lindsay. Jeremy was a trooper about it and just teased her back out of her hiding. I'm glad I got the picture with her hand up because every time she caught Jeremy looking she would put her hand over her face or to the side of her face where he was. She would keep it there for several minutes too. She's hilarious!
After the zoo we went out to eat and then came home hot, sweaty and exhausted. We had a great time at the zoo, and hopefully we can spend the day at the aquarium with our cousins too before the summer is over. YAY for family!
An Octopus Love Story
I love this story. I think she had a good time imagining how it must have gone when Arlin and I met. Ah, the influence of princess-happily-ever-after movies.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Miscellaneous
Things Linsday has learned to say this month:
1. Pizza (itzah)
2. Meow
3. Arlin (awin)
Things going on with me this month:
1. Sinus infection
2. Removing the house from the market (no where to rent at all!)
3. Settling in and making a plan to actually decorate the house (ah, I never get this treat, so it is AWESOME!)
Things I wish were different now:
1. Laney was home (I miss her so much and she turns 8 in just 4 more days!)
2. My finances were in a different order (we are making HUGE progress, but that doesn't mean I don't want this wading through the mucky muck part over)
3. The shop was settled (just settle down please, no more drama and changes, let's get busy and make some money!)
Things with Arlin this month:
1. He was 2nd in sales during his first month ever at the Honda dealership! (so proud!)
2. He is now working 6 days a week - 12-14 hour days :(
3. We are about to celebrate our 9th anniversary. Can you believe that?! Crazy I tell you, crazy.
1. Pizza (itzah)
2. Meow
3. Arlin (awin)
Things going on with me this month:
1. Sinus infection
2. Removing the house from the market (no where to rent at all!)
3. Settling in and making a plan to actually decorate the house (ah, I never get this treat, so it is AWESOME!)
Things I wish were different now:
1. Laney was home (I miss her so much and she turns 8 in just 4 more days!)
2. My finances were in a different order (we are making HUGE progress, but that doesn't mean I don't want this wading through the mucky muck part over)
3. The shop was settled (just settle down please, no more drama and changes, let's get busy and make some money!)
Things with Arlin this month:
1. He was 2nd in sales during his first month ever at the Honda dealership! (so proud!)
2. He is now working 6 days a week - 12-14 hour days :(
3. We are about to celebrate our 9th anniversary. Can you believe that?! Crazy I tell you, crazy.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The Wheels on the Bus
Well, the wheels on my bus went "round and round" this weekend, all the way to Meridian, Mississippi. Saturday morning, Laney and I drove the entire 550 mile trip in a very quick 8.5 hours. The weather was nice, she was great in the car, the traffic was light, all in all it was a good trip. We landed down in Meridian about 5 pm. What is there you ask? Not sure (click the link it for some history). What did I see while I was there? The Super 8 and Cracker Barrel and two of my favorite people: my parents.
The last 4 years or so Laney has spent several weeks of her summer with Grandma and Grandpa at their house in VA. She helps in the garden, visits cousins, picks all the wild berries, helps can food, chases goats, chickens, dogs, cats, horses, and whatever other animals that might be on the farm at the time, and attends the annual family reunion. She has a great time playing with cousins Madison, Christian and Morgan and her her distant cousins. She visits people I visited when I was a kid, and even gets to visit Momaw Betty (great-grandma) and Momaw Louise (another great-grandma). She loves it, they love it, and I love it. BUT, I miss her. A LOT.
Arlin and I try to go on a couple's trip when she is gone, or at least have a lot of date nights. I don't think that is going to work out the same now that we have Lindsay too. Lindsay, being too young to gallivant to unknown parts of VA for an extended period, stayed here with us this year. While my parents and I were willing, there is no way the car ride would have left any of us sane after traveling with a small girl who loathes her car seat. And it's hard to let her go when I won't be able to watch over her as well from this far away. At least I can talk with Laney on the phone in sentences and get a good idea of what is going on. No such with Lindsay.
So Sunday I drove the 8.5 hours, 550 miles back home with an empty backseat, and dead silence except for my thoughts and the radio, and it struck me how much I missed her already. I'm excited for this time for her this summer. And I know how wonderful it is, because I spent a month of my summer at my grandparents, with my cousins while growing up and I LOVED it. But, it doesn't mean I won't be counting down the days until I see my Laney again.
The last 4 years or so Laney has spent several weeks of her summer with Grandma and Grandpa at their house in VA. She helps in the garden, visits cousins, picks all the wild berries, helps can food, chases goats, chickens, dogs, cats, horses, and whatever other animals that might be on the farm at the time, and attends the annual family reunion. She has a great time playing with cousins Madison, Christian and Morgan and her her distant cousins. She visits people I visited when I was a kid, and even gets to visit Momaw Betty (great-grandma) and Momaw Louise (another great-grandma). She loves it, they love it, and I love it. BUT, I miss her. A LOT.
Arlin and I try to go on a couple's trip when she is gone, or at least have a lot of date nights. I don't think that is going to work out the same now that we have Lindsay too. Lindsay, being too young to gallivant to unknown parts of VA for an extended period, stayed here with us this year. While my parents and I were willing, there is no way the car ride would have left any of us sane after traveling with a small girl who loathes her car seat. And it's hard to let her go when I won't be able to watch over her as well from this far away. At least I can talk with Laney on the phone in sentences and get a good idea of what is going on. No such with Lindsay.
So Sunday I drove the 8.5 hours, 550 miles back home with an empty backseat, and dead silence except for my thoughts and the radio, and it struck me how much I missed her already. I'm excited for this time for her this summer. And I know how wonderful it is, because I spent a month of my summer at my grandparents, with my cousins while growing up and I LOVED it. But, it doesn't mean I won't be counting down the days until I see my Laney again.
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