Heaven

Did you know that the creator of the Brady Bunch died not too long ago? Well he did. Not only did he create the show, he wrote the jingle. AND he created Gilligan's Island and wrote the jingle to it too! Okay, so you are probably not as impressed as I am, well, I'm not that really impressed though he did create decades of television and rerun history. What I am impressed with is a statement I heard about him on NPR last week. He wrote a letter to be read posthumously. In this letter he said may beautiful things that I hope I am clever enough to say before I go. Among my favorite things he wrote:


"Am I going to Heaven or not?"
"That's what I was going to ask when I got here," I say. Then I suddenly realized something when we talked. Heaven is where I've been since the day I was born."

I've been thinking about those words of his. Heaven is where I've been since the day I was born. He didn't say only during the good times, but I think he meant to include the bad times. Heaven is every day you are surrounded by the people whom love you, and every day you are surrounded by those whom allow you to love them back.

The Houston Zoo with our Cousins

The girls had a great time and were practically inseperable

Watching monkeys

You can see Lindsay is "hiding" from Uncle Jeremy.  She would not look at him directly if she thought he was looking at her.  It cracked us all up most of the day.  She finally warmed up by the end of the day.

Audrey loved coming over to visit with Lindsay

Group photo.  We moms wisely took the picutres

Jamie had to be the first to put her head in before the girls would try it out

Laney...playing it cool

Lindsay and I resting while the other girls run around the play area

She had a great time and actually stayed in her stroller like a champ!

Jamie trying out the wagon.  :)

By the end of the day we were all bushed.  No one would carry the rest of us though!  :)

Earlier this spring we went to the Houston Zoo, on Earth Day as a matter of fact.  (Not that we actually planned it that well, it just worked out that way).  We always have a great time with our cousins, and Laney and Lindsay LOVE having other little girls to play with.  We saw all the animals, ran around the play areas, and just had a great time.  Lindsay would not look Uncle Jeremy in the eye for several hours.  She had a brief stage where she would not look at men she did not know.  Just men...women were fine.  Laney actually went through the same stage, so it wasn't too shocking to watch this happen with Lindsay.  Jeremy was a trooper about it and just teased her back out of her hiding.  I'm glad I got the picture with her hand up because every time she caught Jeremy looking she would put her hand over her face or to the side of her face where he was.  She would keep it there for several minutes too.  She's hilarious!

After the zoo we went out to eat and then came home hot, sweaty and exhausted.  We had a great time at the zoo, and hopefully we can spend the day at the aquarium with our cousins too before the summer is over.  YAY for family!

An Octopus Love Story

I love this story.  I think she had a good time imagining how it must have gone when Arlin and I met.  Ah, the influence of princess-happily-ever-after movies.

Miscellaneous

Things Linsday has learned to say this month:
1. Pizza (itzah)
2. Meow
3. Arlin (awin)

Things going on with me this month:
1. Sinus infection
2. Removing the house from the market (no where to rent at all!)
3. Settling in and making a plan to actually decorate the house (ah, I never get this treat, so it is AWESOME!)

Things I wish were different now:
1. Laney was home (I miss her so much and she turns 8 in just 4 more days!)
2. My finances were in a different order (we are making HUGE progress, but that doesn't mean I don't want this wading through the mucky muck part over)
3. The shop was settled (just settle down please, no more drama and changes, let's get busy and make some money!)

Things with Arlin this month:
1. He was 2nd in sales during his first month ever at the Honda dealership!  (so proud!)
2. He is now working 6 days a week - 12-14 hour days  :(
3. We are about to celebrate our 9th anniversary.  Can you believe that?! Crazy I tell you, crazy.

The Wheels on the Bus

Well, the wheels on my bus went "round and round" this weekend, all the way to Meridian, Mississippi.  Saturday morning, Laney and I drove the entire 550 mile trip in a very quick 8.5 hours.  The weather was nice, she was great in the car, the traffic was light, all in all it was a good trip.  We landed down in Meridian about 5 pm.  What is there you ask?  Not sure (click the link it for some history).  What did I see while I was there?  The Super 8 and Cracker Barrel and two of my favorite people: my parents. 

The last 4 years or so Laney has spent several weeks of her summer with Grandma and Grandpa at their house in VA.  She helps in the garden, visits cousins, picks all the wild berries, helps can food, chases goats, chickens, dogs, cats, horses, and whatever other animals that might be on the farm at the time, and attends the annual family reunion.  She has a great time playing with cousins Madison, Christian and Morgan and her her distant cousins.  She visits people I visited when I was a kid, and even gets to visit Momaw Betty (great-grandma) and Momaw Louise (another great-grandma).  She loves it, they love it, and I love it.  BUT, I miss her.  A LOT.

Arlin and I try to go on a couple's trip when she is gone, or at least have a lot of date nights.  I don't think that is going to work out the same now that we have Lindsay too.  Lindsay, being too young to gallivant to unknown parts of VA for an extended period, stayed here with us this year.  While my parents and I were willing, there is no way the car ride would have left any of us sane after traveling with a small girl who loathes her car seat.  And it's hard to let her go when I won't be able to watch over her as well from this far away.  At least I can talk with Laney on the phone in sentences and get a good idea of what is going on.  No such with Lindsay.

So Sunday I drove the 8.5 hours, 550 miles back home with an empty backseat, and dead silence except for my thoughts and the radio, and it struck me how much I missed her already.  I'm excited for this time for her this summer.  And I know how wonderful it is, because I spent a month of my summer at my grandparents, with my cousins while growing up and I LOVED it.  But, it doesn't mean I won't be counting down the days until I see my Laney again.

The Dreaded

There is one conversation (or two or three versions of the one conversation) I dread having with each of my girls:

The Sex Talk

Just YUCK!  Laney turns 8 in about 3 weeks and I'm afraid we are getting close to have "the talk".  I'm really not that prepared for this!  I thought I had more time!!!  I'm not sure who says things to her and I don't think she really even knows what they are saying, but I've had to correct her on a couple of things.  For instance, the other day we were house cleaning and folding laundry on a Saturday in front of the TV with some Disney movie that had some type of kissing scene.  Laney says to me, "Oh no, I can't look they are about to have SEX."  Yep, said that she did.  My heart dropped.

"What do you know about sex?" asks me.

"It is when they kiss," she says.

"Well, there is kissing in sex, but that is not really what sex is.  What else do you know?"

"You are naked."  Be still my beating heart.  No, really, be still.  Ugh.  Now I know there have to be kids at school talking about this.  Second graders.  No way.  I mean, she still gets her homework instructions confused sometimes, so how do they get the details of anything right?  I knew we were no ready to have the entire conversation, and I don't think she would have even understood it if I did, but I also knew we had to do some cleaning up of her understanding of what sex was.  So very generally I told her what it was for and how only mommies and daddies and husbands and wives have sex, and how it is special and those types of things.  AND now I guess I cross my fingers and begin hoping that whomever in second grade that thinks they know all about sex, will move away this summer.  Or become a mute.  Either work for me.

The Ties that Bind

I've been thinking lately about the memories we make with our kids and the way it shapes them in their personality and their lives and in their self esteem/confidence.  I sometimes feel like two completely different moms with each of my girls, but I think in large part it is because of their personalities and how we have to change to what works with each individual.  In some ways this is the same theory I use on my co-workers or employees because you have to talk to people in a language they understand and be the person who they are willing to work with to reach a common goal.

Laney has been very trying on boundaries lately.  Not anything horrible, but as in, "how many times can I not listen before she will do something?"  I do NOT like this stage.  I've got tired of nagging, nagging, nagging, ask for results in a different way, and then finally being mean or punishing her to do something as easy as changing into PJ's or brushing teeth, or cleaning her room.  My new trick is articulating to her that she has pushed me to the last teeny tiny told hold I have over my patience.  I now tell her at this point that the "Nice Mom" is going to leave and the "Mean Mom" is going to come out.  I ask her if she would like to work with the Mean Mom, the lady who puts her in the corner or takes away a toy or gives her the talking to and usually she says, "No" and gets her little self together and does what she is supposed to do.  I wonder why this works so well for her, but I think it is almost like counting to three but in a more sophisticated way.  She now knows when she can no longer avoid consequences or procrastinate action.  It works for us.  At least for now...  Although, I do miss the simplicity of the reward chart days (and the attitude-free days).

Lindsay is a good kid too, but she is always laid back until you want her to do something you want.  Such as, oh, going to bed, leaving the playground, getting out of her booster seat, you know, those kind of things.  Then she has turned into a ferocious biter, kicker and screamer.  She doesn't use a lot of words yet (although, "NO!" is one of her favorites) and so she heavily uses physical expression to convey her opinions.  I try to talk her through these things and at first, it didn't help, but now she starts to listen a little more and scream a little less.  She is almost 2 now, and I just can't believe the changes in this girl.  The miracle of children is so different for me this time around.  With Laney, I was more nervous and less engaged because I saw her so little with working so much.  With Lindsay, I got to be with her almost the entire first year, and see the stages and watch the changes in minute detail.  After the NICU, it was so amazing how these little babies are so determined to be born and thrive.  They say NICU babies are fighters and go getters and I have to say I would agree.  You show Lindsay how to do something once and she can duplicate it.  Laney took a couple of walk throughs, but Lindsay is out to do something in this world and she's conquering and moving on already.

My girls are years apart in ages, but it's still just about the relationship, the time you spend, the memories you make and the way you teach them.  I know these things will change them for the rest of their lives and I have to remind myself every day to take my time and get it right.  Now I just need to remember to listen to myself a little more and take my time and get it right.