Silence

So, I know I've been pretty quiet on here lately, and I've been beating myself up about it a little. Wondering why I'm not more clever and why I don't have more fascinating things on my little blog. Then I remembered ... oh, yeah, I'm not doing anything right now for two reasons: 1) all my spare time is either spent at the hospital, going to the hospital, or pumping for the baby (read 8 hours a day at least) AND 2) none of my time is spent sleeping. Seriously, if I am in any position for more than 5 minutes, I'm fighting to keep my eyes open. That's ok, it could be worse, I could be packing up the baby clothes and/or making a lot of returns at the store. I'll take this route.

Then I started thinking about the crazy things stress and sleep deprevation are making me do. I repeat, MAKING ME DO because I don't have a choice in this nonsensical brain of mine. (Your honor, I swear the voices made me do it!) These are the things I've caught myself doing or not doing in the last couple of weeks:

a. Putting the cereal in the freezer
b. Promising anything to my 6 year old to get her to watch cartoons next to me in bed so I can take a nap
c. Forgetting to buy milk at the store when I went to the store just for milk (I got a lot of other things that I'm sure I don't need, but forgot the milk)
d. Forgetting to call and schedule a major surgery for my husband (yeah, that's not important honey)
e. Being enornomously pleased when I see not only has Laney put on non matching clothes to wear to school, but to hear, she has packed her lunch (sandwich, cookies, juice, cookies, donut, cookies) and ate breakfast (ho ho, granola bar, ice cream cone without the ice cream) all by herself -- I mean, I really was happy not to have to do any of these until I realized 4 hours later, that maybe I shouldn't have been?!
f. Not remembering to make dinner every single night until it's bedtime and Laney looks at me and says, "But I can't go to bed, I'm hungry. What's for dinner?" Yes, really, almost every night do I forget we eat dinner.

I think you get the point. Once I realized all the things I was either forgetting or erronousely thinking, I figured not getting a blog up here was no big deal after all. Is this a sign that I put too much pressure on myself as a woman? I actually expect myself to get the energy and motivation to blog when I can barely remember to feed my children? Sad story, but true. :)