Saturday, September 26, 2009

Blessed

So we have a lot of people asking how on earth we are managing to make it through this difficult time with Lindsay being a preemie in the NICU. I've thought about this quite a bit during the last 4 weeks she's been in the NICU, and I think it's only fair to explain a few things to everyone. First of all, please don't think we are amazing or superhuman, or some finite example of enduring challenges well. Hardly. I don't endure pretty much anything well. Just ask my husband. I'm horrible at nagging, whining, complaining, and moping. I might put on a brave face outside my front door, but behind it, I'm awful. Secondly and I guess finally, it's all about perspective. Last night, with the help of my friend, I was making a list of horrors our family has been through the last seven years. Now there's been a lot of joys, but I'm just going to list the major catastrophes here for you so you can understand my perspective. In short, here's an abbreviated list of the items I'm willing to put out there:

1. We moved 8 times (yep, more than once a year sometimes)
2. Between Arlin and I, we've had 12 new jobs - with that comes the stress of job searching and the economics of it all
3. We've had 3 children - each prematurely, with her own story of dramatics
4. We've lost one of our little babies and had to endure all that comes with that
5. Arlin has lost his memory (short and long term) for more than 3 months (yes, that means he didn't know us or anyone else)
6. We've had multiple major health scares, each of us - yes serious ones
7. We both lived with family and had family live with us (multiple times)
8. 3 of our moves occurred when we went somewhere "on vacation" - i.e. we cancelled our return trips home and only went back months later for our boxes of belongings
9. Multiple deaths in the family - both his and mine

They say if you get married, move, change jobs, have a birth/death in the family it is a time of major life stress. We've had at least 2 - 3 of those events happen per year, each year. It's to the point where I feel my life is ever in the "surreal" category. Forever, do I think, "This is one of those things that happens to other people." Forever do I think, "Wow. Just wow. Okay, let's see where this goes." I've stopped saying, I'm not moving again. I've stopped thinking this is where I'll be next year, or wonder what will happen next. You could say we don't make many long term plans. We are even tentative when it comes to planning vacations. Lol (especially since we don't return from them - ha ha). We've learned in our family to roll with the punches. We've learned that trials are part of life and the smooth journey is fleeting. We've also really learned to count our blessings. Our blessing this time is the baby will be coming home with us. Doesn't matter how long it takes to get her here, we know she's going to get here. That's a world of difference from last year. We are a family and we love each other, and we're together. We are fairly healthy, have clean food, a comfortable home, we are not living on the streets or going hungry or oppressed. Things could be so much worse for us you know? We really feel blessed to have all we do. To have a new baby is awesome. I wasn't really sure we'd get to this point, but I'm so happy we have. I'm so grateful we did. Yay us!

And thanks to all of you for your love and support during any and all of these great trials you've helped us face. Many of you have been there for us more than once and we are truly grateful and appreciative of the service rendered to our family. We couldn't have done half as well as we have if it wasn't for the blessing of great friends who are there for us. Thanks to all of you! We are blessed.

1 comment:

  1. wow brandi what a past few years eh'! hey, whether or not your awful beneath it all or not (trust me, we all are)... you're still a fighter. i've thought of you so much over the past few weeks. i miss you. primary isn't the same without you..without having you there to give those "knowing" looks to. i'm glad that baby girl is well enough for now. she's beautiful. brent was telling me all about her, and was so happy to be able to give her a blessing last week. i really enjoyed your testimony today by the way. i was having a really crappy sunday and the things you said gave perspective to my small challenges and insignificant trials. i'd still love to bring a meal or help out in any way i can. you know you can always call and ask. hope all is well. love shauna

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